Sid Swan,

Many,many thanks for the TRS sponsored end of season drinks. We had a great night !

OK chaps, by my calcs we have 30 coming on Saturday as follows

Carlos + Amy
Franky + Mariette
Munty
Minto + Mrs
Fred + Mrs
Craig
Bob P
Rich
Coombsey
Thompson x 4
Yogi
Frosty
Will R
Kass
Bowlsey
Matt B
Ben Unwin
Alex B
Tilly
Dukey
Nick Warren
Clifton
Stoat

Will be sending off to restaurant before lunch so if I have missed anybody please let me know ASAP, as far as I can tell all those playing for 1s or 2s are coming apart from Boo Boo, can someone confirm this is intentional or has he just not got the message..?

Let the good times roll

2nd XI to play Kemsing AWAY on Saturday 4th September 1pm start

Isaac
Boo Boo
Yogi
Pettit
Minto
Clifton
Atkins
Stoat
Ritchie
Warren
Frosty

*******1PM START TIME*********

Ok the big one....

1st XI to play Four Elms HOME on September 4th, 1pm start. Please arrive for 12:15.

RC
Bryan
Mike
Luke
Kassim
Franky
Tillo
Carlos
Charlie
Fred
Ben U

Teas: Ben U

Umpire: Coombesy

Apologies to those who didn't make the team on this rarest of weekends when we had more than 11, but any support (maybe even bring whites in case of freak accident?) will be welcome, as well as guests for the festivities in the evening (see below).

COME ON, THE VILLAGE!

As we reach the climax of a successful season I would just like to remind people of the Plaxtol CC quiz night on Friday 10th September to be held in Plaxtol Memorial Hall . We hope to have 10 tables of 8 on the night. Home made hot food is included in the ticket price of £10 and there is a bar with a real ale barrel available. A raffle will be held and any donations for this will be much appreciated. Please contact myself, Will Minto or Tim Dickinson to book your places (at least 8 tickets are still available and anyone without a table will be slotted in).

Please do support this event as it is our main fund-raiser this year and the Club urgently needs the funds.

Gents,

Looking like the end of season drinks will be at Vaudrey's (next to Hildenborough Station) is kind of half way between Kemsing and Plaxtol and good for those getting the train back to London and those driving to nearby places.

They have a function room that can accommodate 30 people, can have some beers and they will do us just a main meal of one of the following and then can tuck into a few more ales before bed time, choices:

Steak & Chips
Baked Halibut & Mash
Tenderloin & Belly duo of Pork

Further details for foody connoisseurs at the following link: http://www.vaudreys.co.uk/ImageLibrary/September%20evening%20menu.pdf

Sid Swan has kindly donated £500 to the cause so if we can have a tenner a head towards the grub then all drinks up to the £500 threshold will be free.

If you could confirm if you (and maybe other half) are coming and what you fancy ASAP that would be tidy, no obligation to eat if you just fancy a drink…

Guys,

Looking ahead beyond the last league game, we have Saturday friendlies on Sept 11th (away at Bells Yew Green) and 25th (home), both 1pm starts.

As it coincides with my nuptials and honeymoon, Frosty has kindly agreed to run these two games.

Please can you post below your availability for the BYG game on Sept 11th, as I suspect we will have other things on our mind after the league games this Saturday.

Thanks.

Hi Guys
Are there any 'Posh' players whose photo is not on the Play-Cricket Website.

There are some pretty old player pictures, so if you want them updated, seek me out this weekend.

The Supers took to the field at Ightham still reeling from the explosive allegations in the News of the World concerning the off-field behaviour of three of the younger members of the side.

Texts
Move over Tiger Woods, Ashley Cole and Vernon Kay, new kid on the block Matty Brittain exposed as a sex text pest, trading repeated lewd messages with a young South African girl with boyfriend

Cougar
Ben Unwin getting a little too friendly with a married mother of 3 in her forties

Turned?
Bowlesy rolling around with a short haired vixen rumoured to prefer the fairer sex..

Turning our attentions to cricket momentarily, Mikey and Unwin opened the bowling, both opting to bowl spin due to their exertions the previous evening, largely ineffective and the regular bad balls were easily punished by the openers. Bob Pettit was the only bowler with any consistency and kept the runs at one end to a minimum, Saffy huffed and puffed into the wind and was rewarded with a wicket. 160-odd for 2 and the rain came down and threatened to curtail proceedings. An early tea was had and miraculously the rain cleared and the sun came out so we were forced to take the field again. Attempting to put images of chocolate ice cream and cherry lube out of his devilish mind, Matty Brittain came on to bowl, his spell lasted just 6 balls as they were dispached for 20 runs. Cheeky Boy Bowlsey fared slightly better with just 8 runs coming from his one over spell but it was enough to take Ightham to 214 and a tantalising declaration.

Given conditions and just 9 batsmen the total was going to be a tough one, particularly after losing Mikey, Yogi and Cannon early on. With 20 overs to go the Supers needed around 8 an over and needed gutsy performances from the scandal hit middle order to be in with a chance. However the occasion seemed to get the better of them, text pest and Bowlsey failing to trouble the scorers. Unwin faired better and together with Carlos kept up with the rate for the next 10 overs. However the skip then departed, leaving Pettit and Unwin 10 overs to see out for the draw. They managed this with a minimum of fuss, both still playing positive shots despite the total being out of reach by this time, Supers finishing on 160odd for 7.

Not one for the purists, depleted side and weather conditions playing their part but a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon nevertheless. All down to Dunksfest, Carlos v Mikey at Singstar with the skip showing his class with Elton John's Rocketman, defeating the vice skip 6000 (rising star) to 3420 (tone deaf).

Match report in association with Closed Loop Recycling:

Cherry Lube Revelations

Div 1 results in. Penshurst start the last weekend 11 points clear with us and Bidborough on identical results and points after dropping one against Siss.

Bob, what are the rules in the event of a tie on points numbers?

Plaxtol welcomed their closest challengers Southborough to a very damp Fairlawne Park knowing with a 25 point cushion that 10 points would secure the second spot and promotion. No bets were taken as the skipper yet again lost the toss (a dead cert!) and Plaxtol were duly asked to bat.

Tom Isaac(32) and Ben Cox started proceedings and seemed to be going well before Coxy drove on the up straight to the fielder closely followed by Boo Boo playing exactly the same shot. 35 for 1 became 45 for 2 and then 46 for 3 as Yogi missed a straight one for a duck, BP and Tom then tried to re-build before Tom played on. (62 for 4) Paul Clifton(28*) then joined Bob and helped us pass 100 before BP(26) missed a straight one too (112 for 5). Craig(34) arrived at the crease having been told to avoid driving and promptly did exactly that with great results, he was eventually out off the last ball of the game and Plaxtol had reached 173 for 6. 2 out of the required 10 points in the bag.
Then followed Boo Boo's first tea and there will certainly be more to follow particuarly with cream cakes - which is why the skipper just couldn't bowl!! However Nick Warren 2/43, Yogi 2/23, BP 2/12 and Frosty all could, the latter returning figures 8.0.24.4. Southborough reached 107 for 2, at which point Frosty then broke the main partnership of Higgs(63) and Probert(28)via a CATCH from the SKIPPER!! Who somehow had been posted far too close to the bat. Wickets fell swiftly after this until Southborough were all out for 135.

Plaxtol 2's as a result confirmed their runner up postion in the Division and therefore promotion. An outstanding and consistent performance from everyone this season has led to some clinical performances, particuarly in the last couple of games, which has made the job of Skipper so much easier - particular thanks must go to Tom Isaac for his input on fielding postions.
Next weeks game is at Kemsing who are the only side to have beaten Sennocke this year and are the side that started our unbeaten run through the second half of the summer so it would be great to finish it as we started it.

Any suggestions for post-match, end-of-season celebrations next Saturday?

Could have beers and bbq at the ground if the weather is looking ok and someone has a bbq.

Or a curry somewhere?

Plaxtol ensured that they stayed in the title race with a comfortable win away at Outwood. Having won the toss and chosen to bowl on a muddy but rolled wicket, Plaxtol were hoping to make early inroads. However, aggressive batting by Outwood’s openers, combined with a fair dose of luck and helped by some inaccurate bowling, meant Outwood started strongly and reached 200-3 with 10 overs to go. Luke Sanders was the only bowler to trouble the top order, taking 3-49 but deserving much more. At this point Plaxtol fought their way back into the game, restricting the run-rate and taking regular wickets. Franky Cilliers (3-52), Charlie Munton (2-41) and Mike Thompson (2-42) all helped themselves to wickets. The last wicket fell on 239, potentially sending any conspiracy theorists in Penshurst and Bidborough into an orgy of match-fixing speculation, especially with what had gone before…

A sickening shadow was cast over village cricket half way through the bowling spell of Cilliers. “Running” in off just a single pace as he has done all season, he overstepped the crease twice and was rightly called for no-balls. A surely impossible achievement. Had the unthinkable become reality, with the KCVL succumbing to illegal betting rings? Suspicious glances were shot all round the ground. Was he in the pocket of Outwood, sporting their brand new and expensive pavilion? Was Mrs Cilliers making calls to Ladbrokes from the boundary rope? Was Kassim bankrolling him with his vast personal wealth, given how little care he was showing in not knocking-in his new expensive bat? Was Charlie sending secret signals to the match-fixers when shaking his BlackBerry, “which definitely improves the reception”? And was Grandma Cilliers concealing piles of banknotes under that blanket?

With so many unanswered and disturbing questions, Plaxtol consoled themselves with an excellent tea and settled into the sofas resplendent in Outwood’s pavilion.

In reply, Fred Chillcott (62) set off swiftly with a number of edges and lofted drives flying into the trees on Outwood’s small ground. Bryan Thompson played the definitive anchor role before latterly opening up to end on 55, overtaken by Mike Thompson who bludgeoned his way to 65. With the bulk of the runs already on the board, it was left to Kassim Ramji with a well-paced 36 not out to see Plaxtol home, crucially supported by the skipper Rich Court who ended on a sensational 2 not out. Plaxtol had wrapped up victory by 6 wickets with 6 overs to spare, to secure maximum points and keep them in the hunt going into “Super Saturday” on Sept 4th.

However, a game that will always be remembered for tarnishing the image of village cricket, resulting in the only fitting match summary in association with our global sponsors:

Traumatising Run-up Scandal

Penshurst got 17 points against St Lawrence or should I say Koster got maximum points - 148 & 5 for 22

2nd XI to play Southborough at HOME 1pm start please get there as early as possible to help set up.

Isaac
Coxy
Boo Boo
Yogi
Pettit
Atkins
Clifton
Stoat
Ritchie
Warren
Frosty

Teas: Boo Boo

*******1PM START TIME*********

1st XI to play Outwood AWAY on August 28th, 1pm start. Please arrive for 12:30 and allow plenty of time to navigate the M25.

RC
Bryan
Mike
Luke
Kassim
Franky
Lord W Minto Esq. BSc, RICS, MA, ASBO
Carlos
Charlie
Fred
Ben U

Teas: oppo

Umpire: TBC - any offers?

Can I have availability for Supers this Sunday... 1.30pm start away to Ightham

Cheers

Bob, I've emailed you a team photo from the 1s match on Saturday. Let me know if you don't get it for any reason. I've also sent one from last year in case you need it.

Have a listen to a very impressive Radio 4 interview with PCC's own Dowser at the following BBC listen again link:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00fkqpg/A_Load_of_Rubbish_Episode_2/

A load of rubbish that's not a load of rubbish - Congratulations Chris!

The 2's arrived at a rain swept and empty Buckhurst Ground in the knowledge that second place was safe whatever happened, what followed was a clinical all round performance.

One fairly consistent fact this year is the Skipper's inability to call right and by about 12.40 with no opposition he was hopeful that the toss would be automatically won, however just in the nick of time Penshurst started arriving! Toss was done and lost and Plaxtol were inserted with Penshurst still arriving as they were under impression it was a 1.30 start.

Plaxtol were met with some variable bounce but got off to a quick start, sadly losing Coxy early, Tom(36) and Boo Boo(64*) continued to build before Yogi(79)entered stage right and proceeded to deal it seemed solely in boundaries 16 in total dispatching the bowlers to all parts of the ground, having been out to playing "the right shot to a poor leg side ball" Craig(28*) replaced him and Plaxtol finished on 241 for 3.

After tea Plaxtol's bowlers tookover with the pitch still variable but drying. Penshurst were dismantled slowly but surely Nick Warren 9.0.36.3 and Stoat 6.0.20.1 opened up. Young-Wood(50) provided the main resistance supported by Axtell(32) and Garrett(24). Frosty 6.0.38.0 bowled well with no luck whilst Yogi 9.2.26.2 plugged away at the other end, Will Ritchie 5.0.30.2 then replaced Frosty. The partnership of Young-Wood and Garrett was looking well set until the latter took on Nick Warren for a quick single, on the move he threw down the bowlers end stumps with the batsman well short. Not long after Tom Isaac took a brilliantly judged catch running in to remove Young-Wood. Marcus then took the last wicket in his first over, Penshurst were all out for 155.

Maximum points gives us a 25 point cushion over the following pack going into Saturdays crucial game against Southborough.

I have full availability so selection may well rest on whether the 1's are short - watch this space